As a kid, I was little Miss Christmas excited and bursting with energy throughout the entire preholiday season. I was never able to sleep on Christmas Eve - until I had 2 children of my own who could not sleep on Christmas Eve either - and then, well, all I wanted was a little shut eye. Mom was aware that I had lost my enthusiasm about Christmastime for reasons I will not go into here.
Christmastime in early 2000's, Mama wanted me to come over and listen to a short poem she'd come across - she wanted to read it to me. I would not let her. I was not in the mood - I do not think we even had a tree up that year. Anyway, I grew to regret my mood and my decision to pass up the offer of sharing an 8 minute poem with her.
In September of 2004, after her funeral while cleaning out her things I came across cassette tape of that poem she wanted to share with me that Christmastime. I brought the tape home and put it aside to listen to some other time when I wasn't feeling so bereft. As fate often does, fate had her way leading me to the cassette days before Christmas. I sat down with a cup of tea and listened to the poem she wanted me to hear. With tears streaming down my face I listened to the poem read by the author. Thanks to someone on YouTube I found a video to share with you at then end of this post.
Lesson: It is never too late to turn around and change a wrong we have done to another or to ourselves. We all make mistakes. This is my amends to my Mom 8 years after she passed and an amends to myself. Mama, I love and I miss you. I wish I could have listened to you reading that poem to me. Now, it's time to forgive myself. I know that you understood and forgave me long ago.
It takes a few minutes but is well worth your time.